I am falling more and more in love with the richness of repeated prayers and creeds, handed down to us through tradition. They, like scripture, begin to take root in my heart, inform my thoughts and deepen my feelings. I am delighted and comforted when the crcumstances of the day bring to mind a beautiful and well-expressed sentiment that directs my heart to the refuge of the Lord though its warm familiarity. I wanted to share a few of my favorites with you here. Some are new, some are old.

Nicene Creed

We believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty,maker of heaven and earth, of all that is, seen and unseen.

We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only Son of God,eternally begotten of the Father, God from God, Light from Light,true God from true God, begotten and not made,of one Being with the Father. Through him all things were made.For us and for our salvation he came down from heaven:by the power of the Holy Spirit he became incarnate from the Virgin Mary,and was made man. For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;he suffered death and was buried.On the third day he rose again in accordance with the Scriptures;he ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father.He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead,and his kingdom will have no end. 

We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life,who proceeds from the Father and the Son.With the Father and the Son he is worshiped and glorified.He has spoken through the Prophets.We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.We look for the resurrection of the dead,and the life of the world to come. Amen.

Moses’ Blessing
Numbers 6:24-26 The LORD bless you, and keep you;
The LORD make His face shine on you,
And be gracious to you;
The LORD lift up His countenance on you,
And give you peace.

Doxology
Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
Praise Him all creatures here below!
Praise Him above, ye heavenly hosts!
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost!
Amen.

These prayers written by John Piper for his family were shared by Noel Piper in her book Treasuring God in our Traditions.

Boundaries and Discipline We create boundaries in our home that teach our children about the standards and holiness of God, as well as the wisdom in following righteousness. When I explain a boundary to Elise, we also discuss how “God’s way is the best way!” He has given us His law because He is loving; He knows how we are made and what we need. What boundaries to establish is far beyond the scope of this time together, but Discovering the Treasure Inside Your Child by Pam Farrel provides excellent advice and examples on which boundaries to draw when. However, in general the boundaries we establish for our children are to develop character and necessary life skills.
I have been wrestling lately with the discipline side of boundaries, i.e. their enforcement. I am usually annoyed, embarrassed and angered that I have to enforce them. I have been surprised by my own impatience and lack of love in discipline. As I have brought this to the Lord and wrestled with Him through His Word, I have come to a few helpful conclusions. 1 – Mothers tend to be proud and naïve and think that their child will surely be above consistent rebellion. Surly my child won’t be a hell child, only those other “bad” moms, right? However, all children are definitely sinners and will test boundaries. I should expect it and be resolved to meet it with patient, gentle love again and again and again. When I draw a clear boundary with my two year old I should expect a tantrum and be prayerfully prepared to deal with it rather than upset and annoyed that I have to enforce my word in a loving manner. In the early years I should be shocked and delighted when I don’t have to enforce the boundary! 2 – This is my job, I shouldn’t be surprised or offended that it requires real, actual work all day long. 3 – Discipline can and ought to be multilayered and creative. I do not need to and ought not meet every boundary violation with a spanking or a time out or any other standard response. Farrel says that the more strong willed your child is the more creative and layered your discipline will have to be.
4 – When I am not sure if a violation merits a spanking I can test the heart of the child by giving a clear instruction. Her response will reveal whether there is outright rebellion in her heart. For example, if my youngest is crying and I cannot tell if the oldest was maliciously mean in causing the tears, I can ask her to please come here and tell me why the baby is crying. If she has a rebellious heart, she usually will not come. Then she has directly violated a firm boundary and I am now clear on how to deal with it. Another useful test is to give a short time out. Usually if my child is being rebellious, she will not come to or stay in even a 1 minute time out. Each mother will have to devise tests of the heart according to the temperament of her own child. 5 – The goal of our discipline is not punishment, but training. The following verses convict me greatly when I allow punitive anger to enter into my discipline. It is not punishment that leads to Godly discipline or a saving knowledge of the love of God. I am not trying to punish my child when she sins, but save her from punishment by communicating that the way of disobedience and rebellion leads to great pain. Romans 2:4 Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance? 1 John 4:18 8 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. Pam Farrel, in her book The Treasue Inside Your Child, offers a useful “mental checklist” to run through before disciplining to help ensure godly correction:

1. Is this my problem or my child’s?
2. What is the simplest answer that will keep the boundaries in place? (distraction or humor is sometimes ok!)
3. Can I reason with my child and help him choose rightly for himself? (if you child is 4 or under the likely answer is no!)
4. Have I exasperated my child with unfair or overly burdensome requests?
5. Is this more of an issue of immaturity as opposed to defiance?
6. Is this defiance or a dangerous situation that would warrant a spanking?
7. Are their natural consequences that would make a longer lasting impact than a spanking?

Establishing God-centered, creative traditions is the most powerful thing we can do to spiritually shape our children. Unique events that are not repeated can be powerfully formative as well, but we cannot plan for these! We have little to do with them, they just happen. However we can have a habit or tradition of prayer so that when the spontaneous does happen, we are centered in Christ and ready for it! There are two types of traditions; “everyday” and “especially” We need both meaningful daily habits as well as special celebrations to look foreword to. Today, most of us present have small children and we are concerned with the traditions appropriate for young children. During this time it is important to establish, simple, meaningful and foundational traditions that we can build upon as the child grows. Basic everyday traditions to begin even with babies and tiny tots (which in the early years are often more about training mom than child!) include:

~ Personal time in God’s Word – reading/listening to Bible stories alone
~ Morning routine – training a child how to start their day in orderly, timely, thankful way. Begin to teach order, responsibility and thankfulness
~ Family Devotions – instruction in God’s Word
~ Use of Catechisms – knowledge of God and faith
~ Evening routine – resting in God, finding comfort and refuge in Him
~ Daily Blessing – a habit of approval and praying God’s blessing on your child. A vehicle for giving the unconditional reliable love of God.
~ Church – a tradition of community fellowship, learning and serving one another. Piper
suggests having child attend adult service starting at age 3
~ Prayer – tradition of dependence on God. Mealtime and bedtime are not most suitable to requests and petition.
~ Mealtime Prayers – a tradition of thankfulness to God for His provision
~ Quality time with parents – a tradition of showing your child the love of God - Both a daily time and extended weekly or monthly special times of attention
~ Life lesson traditions – hospitality, decision-making, finances, physical activity

This is the point where every family can look considerably different from another, although God is the center for each. Noel Piper talks about her family being very word oriented; they love to play scrabble and word games, they love to read and articulate ideas through words. However your family might be very visual and artistically oriented or music oriented. John Piper writes many, many poems for his children, one for every major event in the child’s life. If you sing, perhaps you will relate a song to many lessons and special events. Perhaps you have a wonderful imagination that can come up with amazing stories with which to teach your children. Perhaps you are a musician or a scrap-booker, and you make a tradition out of choosing a song or designing a page to celebrate different events. Maybe you love to cook and will make a tradition out of baking bread every Saturday with your child and use the time to teach them of how Jesus is the bread of life and we do not live by bread alone but by every Word of the Lord. Perhaps you are an avid hiker and regularly take your children outside to worship God by wondering at His creation. Poetry, music, art, food, nature; hopefully we will be able to draw from all these things to teach our children and establish a rich heritage of tradition, yet one or a few may be more prominent than the others according to our unique families design. In addition, you may have unique family circumstances. Perhaps your husband is not a believer, or doesn’t consider family devotions worth the effort. You will have to creatively modify your circumstances. Perhaps you must work outside the home, or perhaps your children were older now and you will have to use more effort, creativity and flexibility to make changes in established routines. Pam Farrel shares a wonderful example of a rich family tradition she developed in her book, “The Treasure Inside Your Child”. She created a yearly “Learner and Leader Who Loves God Day” for each child where she chose a character trait to focus on with the child for the year and celebrated the success of last year’s progress with a special outing and gift. This book contains a wealth of other creative ideas for implementing the word of God in your family traditions. In this time I do not have the space to discuss the “especially” traditions, and I refer you to Noel Piper’s book. It contains excellent principles and ideas for approaching Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays, weddings, funerals, anniversaries, and Easter.

We only have a short time with our children. We want to give our children eternal treasure that will stick with them. We cannot be here forever for our children, but God will; forever and ever and ever He will be there for them. God centered, powerful traditions are the most powerful things we can do to give our children ways to grasp the greatest treasure Himself. The things we imprint deeply into our children through a labor of love will repeat in their little minds as they journey beyond our reach. In my own life, the traditions that most impacted me were strong Christmas traditions, our yearly celebration of the traditional Jewish Passover, the Nicene Creed and Lord’s prayer I repeated over and over and over while we went to an Episcopalian church, the wordless book I learned year after year at Good News Bible camps, and the songs my mother played and sang at the piano that spoke of God’s faithfulness and love despite the pains of life. These things echo in my mind even while I sleep, they haunted me in times of rebellions and they helped attach the name “Jesus” to the security, love and peace of childhood that we all long to return to. In the darkest times of my sinful misery, God used these traditions, inextricable woven into the fabric of my psyche, to draw me back to Himself. It was the comfort of things securely known and familiar that helped me persevere through the valley of the shadow. We do not know how soon our children will have a need that we cannot be there to supply. If my child becomes lost, I want God to bring to mind a lullaby about His provision and care that I have sang over her night after night after night so that she might be comforted even when I am not there. In teenage years and beyond when my child is questioning all that she learned and testing the world’s ideas about who God is, I want the precepts of the Nicene Creed to echo through her mind, We believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, of all that is, seen and unseen. We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, eternally begotten of the Father, God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, begotten, not made, of one Being with the Father. Through him all things were made.
Click here to continure this series with part 5.

Now HOW are these things taught? We have affirmed that the battle is the Lord’s and that He is the one who will save our children and grow them, yet He has chosen to involve us. How does that work? You will often hear the cliché, “God helps those who help themselves.” In that worldview, God is my yes-man, bound to respond to my good works. I get the glory for trying so hard to earn God’s help. This is an unbiblical view. The Bible does teach that God helps those who trust Him, so that He gets the glory for what is accomplished and we receive the joy of God’s miraculous work and presence in our lives. So what practically does our trusting involvement look like? Part of our trust in God is trust that His Word does not return empty, but is powerful and effective. Trust in God makes His Word our daily bread. So in general we participate in God’s work by teaching and implementing the Word of God. There are 6 main ways we impart the truth of God as revealed in His Word to our children. 1 – Knowledge of the Word of God 2 – Prayer 3 – Example 4 – Boundaries 5 – Discipline 6 – Traditions We will reverse the order here and first focus on traditions because I believe it is the glue for all the other things we do in our children’s lives as well as the least taught and appreciated. Our individualistic culture of entertainment and novelty does not value tradition as it ought to. Traditions impart a great wealth of heritage, knowledge and freedom to families. A great deal of the Old Testament describes traditions that the Lord gave to His people to teach and strengthen them. Noel Piper wrote a wonderful, thought provoking book on treasuring Christ in our traditions. She writes concerning the passing on to our children of God as our treasure, “Things like that don’t just happen. They come first from our own hearts that are tuned into God. Then they happen because we plan to include our children in the God-air we breathe. Without planning, we’ll practice our Bible memory just once or twice and then no more. We’ll do lots of good things, but only a couple of times. One of the great strengths of good traditions in our lives is the repetition – not something done once, then something else, then another thing altogether, but good things done regularly, dependably until they become habits, woven into our very being.” Piper looks to Deuteronomy 4:9-10 for a Biblical definition of effective and godly tradition; traditions that edify and point us toward the Lord of hosts. She draws out three was of defining tradition: “1 – A tradition is a planned habit with significance. 2 – Tradition is the handing down of information, beliefs and worldview from one generation to another by word of mouth and by regular repetition of example, ceremony and celebration. 3 – For a Christian, tradition is laying up God’s words in our own hearts and passing His words to the next generation.” Families have traditions, whether they helpful or not. Whenever a level of significance is added to a repetition or habit of life, a tradition is created. The meaning imparted through the repetition can be good or bad. Predictably chaotic holidays or a consistency of randomness gives a family a tradition of chaos or disorder. Whatever your family repeats becomes a tradition and a heritage for your children. Think of your own childhood. Likely the repeated things stand out powerfully far above the rest as defining who you left your home as. Perhaps something you always did at Christmas morning that filled that time with wonder and anticipation, teaching you the value of delayed gratification and giving you stability the rest of the year because you knew the family would come together at least one day soon. Traditions are powerful because humans learn primarily through repetition and we feel security through regularity. They give freedom because they define the seasons and give us a stable structure within which to move with peace and confidence. Traditions become like a comfortable pair of jeans; they come to fit wonderfully and they allow you to do less planning to put together an outfit! When we have rich, established traditions, we do not have as much pressure to constantly be inventing our lives. Traditions are powerful whether they positive or negative, profound or ordinary, God-centered or not. Piper quotes a letter she received to show “that even in traditions that seem shallow, God releases glimmers of his presence.’ I grew up in a troubled, angry, and unpredictable family. One thing proved a small but weight anchor for me; family holiday traditions. We didn’t have Norman Rockwell holidays; ours were a much less funny version of The Honeymooners. But a base of security was laid down for me in the predictable cycle of heart-shaped Jell-O for Valentines day and French Toast with thread sewn through the bread slices (April’s Fool!) and Easter baskets and Thanksgiving salad in that special bowl and Christmas decorations long, long past their prime but welcomed every December. No matter what else was going on, these traditions went on, and they strengthened me. I counted on them, and they were there, year in and year out. It wasn’t enough of course, but it was something, and God used it for my good in the midst of the pain. Red heart-shaped Jell-O, for crying out loud. Such a little thing. But red-heart-shaped Jell-O year after year after year after year was something else entirely. In this story we also clearly see that it is the Lord Himself who draws children to Himself. Only God can give Himself to a child, and He can use any material available, even Jell-O or ugly old decorations.
Click here to read Part 4 of this series.

For my children to reach the goal of knowing and treasuring Christ above all, I have outlined four essential principles for my children to grasp: LAW/SIN, SALVATION/FAITH, JOY/GLORY, RIGHTEOUSNESS/LOVE. 1 – LAW/SIN - Posses a godly humility and an understanding both of the inapproachable holy standard of God (Law) and our total inability to ever come close to the standard at all. Therefore the prerequisite of faith is repentance in response to the standard of the law. Proverbs 1:7 – “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.” Matthew 22:37-40 And He said to him, “‘YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.’ 38 “This is the great and foremost commandment. 39 “The second is like it, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.’ 40 “On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.” 1 John 1:8-9 If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 2 – SALVATION/FAITH – Understand the freedom we have from sin and the demands of the law through faith in Jesus Christ. Set her hope fully on the promises of Christ, even when she doesn’t feel it or understand it. Ephesians 2:4-9 But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6 and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; 9 not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Romans 8:24-25 For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it. 3 – JOY/GLORY - For my child to have joyful satisfaction and delight in God as the passion of her life, thereby glorifying God greatly. This is worship. Joy in God is a command, not optional icing on the cake!! (example of flowers to wife.) Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice! Psalm 34:8 O taste and see that the Lord is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him! Psalm 100:1-2 Shout joyfully to the LORD, all the earth. 2 Serve the LORD with gladness; Come before Him with joyful singing. 4 – RIGHTEOUSNESS/LOVE - Ability walk in the Spirit by faith so that she may be able to love her neighbor as herself. 1 John 4:7-8 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. Galatians 5:14,16 For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, “YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.” But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. Wheel of faith keeps you rollin’! – Illustration of spiritual life. I designed these 4 principles for my family, to help me have focus in training my children. They are based off the Word of God, much counsel taken from teachers of the Word, and my own strengths and weaknesses. For example, I emphasize joy in the Lord as much as faith because that is a great weakness of mine. I tend to think of faith with solemn duty instead of God-glorifying delight. You might use these as they are, but I find that things ‘stick’ when we have creative ownership in them. You may, for example, consolidate the first two together and then divide out what it means to love others into greater detail. Perhaps joy might be more natural to you and you want to describe worship in a different way, based off different verses. Or you might, through your own study, form a completely different type of list, maybe one that uses symbols or an acronym to order it. It is not that we teach different truths, but some of us might paint a picture of Christ for our children with watercolors, so to speak, while others use charcoals, pastels or clay. Consider the following 3 resources as you design your own spiritual goals for your children.

1. The Truth of the Word and Gospel of God – this of course is the most important!
2. Teaching and tradition of the church – cannot understand the Bible as isolated individual. To ignore the teaching of the church throughout the history of the church is to despise the gift of teaching given by the Holy Spirit.
3. Your own family’s heritage and personalities and talents

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Deuteronomy 6:4-9 “Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one! 5 “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. 8 “You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. 9 “You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. This is going to be the theme verse for spiritually shepherding our children. Moses reminded the Israelites of the essentials; who God is and how we relate to God. The Lord Himself is our greatest treasure and the priceless heirloom we wish for our children to posses. Moses then instructed the Lord’s people make the essential inform everything they did on a daily basis. I think it is wonderful for mothers to exchange practical ideas, yet I also deeply believe that too much focus on the “how-to’s” of mothering as opposed to reminding ourselves of the few essential principles can become counter productive and burden a mother with many “laws” to keep. So as we consider the spiritual formation of our children, we will focus on the goal; for our children to know and treasure Christ above all, in everything they do. There are many, many books giving counsel to parents, even Biblical counsel. However, no matter how wonderful a book or teacher, the advice given is shaped by the individual’s uniqueness as well as his children’s uniqueness’. Ultimately, we cannot just simply follow the “Ezzo” model or the “Sears” model, but based off God’s Word as well as godly counsel, we must develop our own family’s living example of Biblical parenting. You are the one who designs a training program for your home, according to the heritage, personalities, talents, weaknesses, and circumstances of your particular family. No one else’s exact system will apply or work. Ready or not, you (and your husband if he is on board but it is not your job to make him be) are your children’s teachers and you design the curriculum. Even if you use other books and tools, you are the one assessing what to use, how to use it, and you are the one modeling spirituality for your children. You are developing the unique “Finch” model, or “Viola” model or “Laiming” model. Then as mothers we are charged with the spiritual upbringing of our children, in addition to their physical, intellectual and emotional. ParentLife Magazine (SBC/LifeWay) quoted the following statistics: · A person’s moral foundation is established by age 9 · A person’s spiritual beliefs are formed by age 13 · Children develop decision making patterns when they are young. This ought to seem totally overwhelming! God has given us a job that is much bigger than we are, in order to drive us to Himself so that we will trust in Him and depend on Him and rejoice to see Him do what we cannot, thereby modeling the spiritual life for our children. I asked my husband what he thought was the greatest thing mothers needed to know concerning the spiritual shepherding of their children. He responded with “They cannot save their children or make them become Christians.” God saves people. Only God can give Himself to someone. If that doesn’t seem relieving and encouraging, then we don’t know ourselves or Christ as we ought. God accomplishes mighty things and no purpose of His can be thwarted. He is infinitely loving and gracious. I, on the other hand, am shortsighted and usually mess things up to some degree or another! Job 42:2 “I know that You can do all things, And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted. Proverbs 19:21 Many plans are in a man’s heart, But the counsel of the LORD will stand. Romans 9:16 So then it does not depend on the man who wills or the man who runs, but on God who has mercy. I for one am easily overwhelmed with pressing immediacies of daily life, much less the spiritual formation of my child! However, God chooses to use mothers as earthen vessels of His teaching, discipline and calling of our children, for our joy and His glory, but it is like asking your two year old to help you put away the groceries or clean the floor. She really didn’t help much at all and it would have been easier without her, but great training and fellowship was gained by making her your partner. Praise God that He is the One who is faithful to complete the work of spiritual rebirth and maturation both in myself and in my child! Truly, we receive the joy of learning and growing with our children as the Lord works in our lives together. Praise God that He has not only chosen us mothers as one of His instruments, but He has also made the essential principles for faith clear. Although the job of mothering is bigger than we are, God does not try to trick us with the Truth. He is the hound of heaven, calling us and our children to know Him. He has made Himself plain, but we make it complicated because we prefer to walk by total comprehension and in our own control instead of by faith. This does not mean that life is easy, but that the hope we cling to is plain and simple; Christ died to save sinners and in every earthly circumstance I am going to hope in Him to save me! Matthew 11:29 - 12:1 – “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Luke 10:21 At that very time He rejoiced greatly in the Holy Spirit, and said, “I praise You, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and intelligent and have revealed them to infants. Yes, Father, for this way was well-pleasing in Your sight. Matthew 18:2-3 And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, 3 and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.
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